


Skaters Against Humanity

by RavingRaven



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Cards Against Humanity, Everyone lowkey crushes on Yuuri, Gen, Humor, Innuendo, Ironic jokes, M/M, Sarcasm, Sexual Humor, Triggered, groupchat, rip yuuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-22 05:19:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9585188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavingRaven/pseuds/RavingRaven
Summary: The Skate Squad plays Cards Against Humanity. Humor and innuendos ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm basing this off on actual experiences while playing CAH.

Phichit created a groupchat.  
Phichit added Katsuki Yuuri, Viktor Nikiforov, Yuri Plisetsky, Guang Hong Ji, Leo de la Iglesia, Otabek Altin, Seung Gil Lee and Christophe Giacometti.  
Phichit changed his nickname to Selfie Overlord.

SelfieOverlord: Hey, guys!  
Katsuki Yuuri: Hi, Phichit!  
SelfieOverlord: OMG Hi, bestie. Anyway, is anyone up for a game of online Cards Against Humanity? Here’s the link.  
Viktor Nikiforov: Hello  
Viktor changed his nickname to Katsudom.  
Katsudom: Yuuri, change your nickname, too!  
Katsuki Yuuri changed his nickname to Katsucky.  
Katsucky: VIKTOR WHAT’S WITH THE NICKNAME?!  
Katsucky: Yea, I’m down for a game.  
Katsudom: Same  
Yuri Plisetsky: Wtf is this  
Yuri Plisetsky: GROSS NICKNAMES  
Otabek Altin: Hi  
Otabek Altin: Cards Against Humanity?  
Selfie Overlord: YOU DON’T KNOW CAH? Let me enlighten you.  
Yuri Plisetsky changed his nickname to Russian Punk.  
Russian Punk: It’s a game about being offensive as possible, Beka. I love it.  
Selfie Overlord. True So basically, you have to pick a white card to complete the sentence on the black one. Every round, there’s someone to pick the winning white card or cards.  
Otabek Altin changed his nickname to Beka.  
Russian Punk: VIKTOR, KATSUDON YOUR NICKNAMES ARE STILL DISGUSTING  
Christophe: I have come  
Katsucky: What’s wrong with mine???  
SelfieOverlord: Chris why  
Christophe Giacometti changed his nickname to fantASStic.  
fantASStic: OOH YUURI I love your nickname smh  
fantASStic: Katsucky  
Katsudom: Mmmm  
Russian Punk: Ugh I’m lEAVING  
Yuri Plisetsky has left the groupchat.  
Viktor Nikiforov added Yuri Plisetsky to the groupchat.  
Katsudom: Yurio, no We’re still going to play CAH  
Beka: Yeah, I want to play now.  
Katsucky: KAMI NO  
Katsucky: It’s a joke oh my god Someone roasted me on Twitter and told me to change my last name to Katsucky okay stOP  
Katsudom: I’m telling you that you should change it to Nikiforov, though smh  
Selfie Ovelord: Ohhh I thought you were just being open about your sex life or something.  
Katsucky: stOP PLEASE Should I change my nickname?  
Russian Punk: Pfft I see  
Guang Hong Ji: Hi, guys  
Guang Hong Ji: What’s happening? O_o So many messages  
Leo de la Iglesia: What’s up?  
Selfie Overlord: I’m bored. You guys want to play Cards Against Humanity? Here  
Selfie Overlord: Hmm, I see you guys went online at the same time…  
Guang Hong Ji: We were facetiming  
Leo de la Iglesia changed his nickname to Musicislayf.  
Leo de la Iglesia changed Guang Hong’s nickname to Smol Sunshine.  
Selfie Ovelord: OMG ship IS SAILING  
Musicislayf: I’m in!  
Smol Sunshine: Aww Leo  
Smol Sunshine: Me too  
Katsudom: We going to play now?  
SelfieOverlord: Yea, sure. Just click the link. Here  
SelfieOvelord: Chris, you playing?  
fantASStic: I’m not passing up the chance to be offensive and make innuendos.  
SelfieOverlord: Btw, the password is otpsarecanon.  
Beka: This looks…interesting.  
Musicislayf: Btw, who’s Katsudom?  
Smol Sunshine: And Beka? Too lazy to scroll up tbh  
Katsudom: I’m Viktor, Yuuri’s husbando.  
Beka: Otabek, guys  
Smol Sunshine: OH I feel stupid now sorry Otabek  
Musicislayf: Hi, Otabek!  
Katsucky: No, you’re not.  
Russian Punk: OOH DEYM Katsudon  
Katsudom: Yuuri why  
Katsucky: You and your gold medal fixation.  
SelfieOverlord: Yuuri is salty lmfao Viktor wtf, tho?  
Katsudom: I’d still marry you even if you don’t place, Yuuri!  
Katsudom: You’re too amazing not to place, tho  
Katsucky: Ily  
Beka: Let’s play now. Yuri’s getting impatient.  
SelfieOverlord: Okay, guys The round is starting now!  
SelfieOvelord changed the groupchat name to Skaters Against Humanity.  
fantASStic: Oh, I’m the Czar  
Russian Punk: “This is the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of….” So many possibilities  
Musicislayf: My cards suck wtf  
Smol Sunshine: Mine are somehow all box-related?? What is this?  
SelfieOverlord: OH MY GOD THESE ARE HILLARIOUS WTF  
Beka: “This is the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of….blueberry lube, tho.”  
Beka: Who picked that? Lol  
RussianPunk: Ugh  
fantASStic: Sorry, guys but this is the best one smh  
fantASStic: “This is the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of…Same-sex ice dancing.” @ViktorandYuuri Is dis u?  
Katsudom: YES  
Katsudom: I WON THE ROUND Thanks, Chris  
fantASStic: Oh wow  
SelfieOvelord: Oh my gosh guys lmfao  
Smol Sunshine: Okay, that was pretty good.  
Musicislayf: My turn to be Czar, guys!  
Musicislayf: “I drink to forget…”  
Musicislayf: OH MY GOSH THIS IS SO RACSIT WHO PICKED THAT wTF  
Smol Sunshine:??  
Beka: “I drink to forget white people.” Am I an asshole for chuckling a bit?  
Katsudom: I’m so triggered omg  
Russian Punk: #triggered  
Musicislayf: These are pretty funny, tho wth You guys are making it hard to pick. “I drink to forget daddy issues.” “I drink to forget the Kool-Aid Man.” HAHA  
Musicislayf: Buttt, this is the best: “I drink to forget….my failures as a figure skater.”  
Russian Punk: OMG LMFAo Katsudon, tho  
Katsucky: It hit too close to home, I think.  
Katsudom: Lmfao Yuuri! It’s okay! Those sixteen glasses of champagne helped you get engaged.  
fantASStic: True and your pole dancing is 10/10  
Katsucky: Ummm thanks, I guess  
Katsucky: I don’t really remember much about the banquet, tho…  
fantASStic: Viktor, you haven’t shown him the pictures yet?  
Katsudom: He keeps avoiding the topic :/  
fantASStic: I’ll help him remember then.  
fantASStic sent a photo.  
fantASStic sent a photo.  
fantASStic sent a photo.  
fantASStic sent a photo.  
Katsucky: OMG CHRIS STOP  
Beka:…  
Musicislayf: OmG wut  
Smol Sunshine: It’s taking a long time to load for me.  
Musicislayf: Guang no  
Smol Sunshine:… oh  
Katsudom: *whistles*  
SelfieOvelord: So dirty omG  
Katsucky: I’m going to crawl under a rock and die.  
Katsuki Yuuri has left the groupchat.


	2. Chapter 2

 

SelfieOverlord: oH SHIT bestie left DX Let’s talk about Yuuri! No throwing shade, though. I WILL PROTECT THE PRECIOUS SPICY CINNAMON ROLL

fantASStic: Okay, let’s talk about his great ass! Like the skater with the best ass is Yuuri or me tbh

SelfieOverlord: Wait before the next round starts like I have questions @Viktor

Katsudom: Yes?

RussianPunk: Stfu Giacometti ugh

Beka: Why…

Katsudom: Yuuri has the best one. Sorry not sorry, Chris!

SelfieOverlord: Yea, yea, you guys have great butts. Let me just ask…Viktor, what age were you when wore Yuuri’s short program outfit?

Katsudom: 15-16 why? I was still in Junior division.

Katsudom: Why do you ask?

Katsudom:… oh

Musicislayf: OMG YUURI IS SMOL

Smol Sunshine: Woah

RussianPunk: It wasn’t altered, too…

SelfieOvelord: I have a smol bestie. Well, his body is kind of feminine, though smh

fantASStic: True! His thighs are thick and those hips are wide. So much love

Katsudom: YES HE IS A BEAUTIFUL KATSUDON FEMME FATALE WHO ENTHRALLS ME (ESPECIALLY ME)

Musicislayf: “Katsudon femme fatale”

Katsudom: It’s kind of odd that my boyfriend is wearing mine me’s outfit from like ten years ago, though…

Katsudom: He looks amazing in it

RussianPunk: Geezer, stop

fantASStic: Hey Viktor

fantASStic: Didn’t you tell me before that the style point of that outfit was inspired by lingerie and bondage? mmmM ;)

SelfieOverlord: WAIT WHAT

Smol Sunshine: No wonder there’s so much mesh O_o

Musicislayf: Oh gosh

RussianPunk: WTF YAKOV LET YOU WEAR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

Katsudom: True I told the designer that because it was ironic and too piss Yakov off HAHA

Beka: Ummm

SelfieOverlord: OMG YUURI

fantASStic: MMmm KINKY

Russian Punk: SHUT UP

SelfieOvelord: Viktor, you’re corrupting my smol bestie.

Smol Sunshine: You’re younger than him, tho??

SelfieOvelord: DOESN’T MATTER HE NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF LIKE TRUST ME I LIVED WITH HIM FOR FIvE YEARS

Beka: Speaking of Yuuri being smol, I thought he was around my age or younger smh when I saw him on television. I was so shocked when the screen said he was 23.

RussianPunk: …Same actually

Musicislayf: SAME

Smol Sunshine: IKR

fantASStic: Guys, I swear, you’re making Viktor vaguely feel like a cradle robber right now HAHA

RussianPunk: Well, he is a geezer.

Katsudom: STOP shut up

Katsudom: Besides, numbers are irrelevant when it comes to a complex emotion like love.

Smol Sunshine: #justgirlythings Is that a Tumblr quote? Lol

fantASStic: I won’t lie. That sounds lowkey creepy, Viktor.

Musicislayf: Cringe

SelfieOverlord: OMG GUYS

Beka: ??

SelfieOvelord: I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING back from Yuuri and I’s Detroit Days #goodtimes

SelfieOvelord: Once, Celestion and Yuuri booked separate flights, and like Yuuri was held up at the airport:

RussianPunk: Um why?

SelfieOvelord: He was like 21 at the time, and a security guard came up to him and asked where was his guardian. It was really awkward because Yuuri was too flustered and also jetlagged to explain verbally, so he just awkwardly shows the guy his ID and passport and the guy is like, “Oh, sorry.”

Musicislayf: Rip security guard He was probably so confused.

SelfieOvelord: He videochatted me about it like I was laughing so hard.

Katsudom: He never told me about that wut omg

RussianPunk: I wasn’t even held up when I travelled alone to Japan smh

fantASStic: So, when are we like adding Yuuri back and continue playing?

Katsudom: YES I MISS HIM SO

Katsudom added Katsucky to Skaters Against Humanity

Katsucky: Uh, thanks but Viktor we’re literally in the same room

Katsudom: BUT STILL

Katsucky: What did I miss?

Katsucky: OMG WUT LINGERIE AND BONDAGE O_o

Katsucky: I know I’m skating to Eros but this is tOO MUCH I AM SHOOK AND PHICHIT HOW COULD YOU TELL THEM ABOUT THAT

RussianPunk: It’s hilarious, tho

SelfieOvelord: UM NEXT ROUND OF CAH, GUYS

Smol Sunshine: What an abrupt change of topic

Katsucky: Okay, fine. Let’s just play now

fantASStic: HAHA OMG WHO PLAYED THE CARD WITH MY NAME?

Katsudom: “BREAKING: Captain America is having a scandalous affair with… Christophe Giacometti.”

Smol Sunshine: Lmfao

SelfieOverlord: If he existed then Chris would probably go for dat ass tbh

fantASStic: Hmm, true. I have a lovely boyfriend, though, so I would just flirt. Hypothetically, of course

fantASStic changed his nickname to Bootyful.

RussianPunk: Um eww

Beka: How many butt puns do you think of??

Bootyful: A handful ;)

Katsucky: I’m the Czar btw and yea, I’m picking the Chris card because why not?

RussianPunk: Wtf you’re the one who picked the card with your name on it That’s narcissistic.

Katsudom: You pretended that you didn’t pick that card… why

Bootyful: Because I can

Bootyful: Yuuri, I picked your card the other round then  you picked mine on this round.

Katsucky: Uhh yea

Beka: Oh, I’m the Czar this time.

RussianPunk: “…It’s JJ Style!” You guys better pick something really offensive, okay?

RussianPunk: YOU GUYS DIDn’T DISAPPOINT ME “Being a dick to children. It’s JJ Style!” “Stepping out of a jump. It’s JJ Style!” “Premature balding. It’s JJ Style!” “Being a such narcissist that you put pictures of yourself up in your own room.” HAHA

Beka: I’m picking the stepping out a jump one. Isn’t that what happened the whole GPF?

Musicislayf: Roasted

Smol Sunshine: Apply ointment to burn

SelfieOvelord: I’m screenshotting this HAHAHA

Katsucky: Rude Hey, he stepped up to the challenge.

Katsudom: We should let the guy see lmao

RussianPunk: YOU BETTER NO DO WHAT I THINK YOU’RE GONNA DO

Bootyful: Hoe, don’t do it

Katsudom added Jean Jacques Leroy to Skaters Against Humanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fixed some typos in Chapter 1 yey Also, shoutout to Yoi Cards Against Humanity!!!! on Tumblr for the Captain America and Chris affair cards idea. Yes, that was an Emma Watson reference if anyone noticed. Hope you enjoyed :) Feel free to give me card ideas

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! I really enjoy groupchat fics, so I decided to make one. <3


End file.
